Kevin and Mike met as soldiers of fortune hired to fight in a small-scale war between the government of Shanghai and the guerilla uprising it was attempting to suppress. The two spent most of their time and earnings in local taverns. It was in one of these taverns that they heard rumor of diamond mines approximately 85 knots south, in the province of Jiaxing. After accepting advance pay for a month’s worth of warfare, they immediately left the army barracks and and set out to claim their share of precious stones. The mines were located rather quickly, but they discovered that an Asian mob, led by Mr. Wong, controlled access. Wearing their official, military-issued gear, Kevin & Mike approached Mr. Wong and invited him to a dinner party where they could discuss the possibility of a “joint venture”, where, in exchange for permission to explore the mines, Mr. Wong could enjoy immunity from the military police.
The next night, Mr. Wong and his henchmen arrived at the agreed-upon location, an abandoned warehouse down by the docks. A delectable five-course meal ensued, along with entertainment such as juggling clowns, fire breathers, and acrobats. After much negotiation, Mr. Wong agreed to grant written permission to explore the mines. Kevin arranged for a celebratory round of the finest gin. All sipped from their glasses. Mr. Wong’s lead henchman stated, “this does not taste like fine gin; in fact, it doesn’t taste like gin at all”, to which Mike replied, “What does it taste like then, your very own blood, perhaps?”
Before Mr. Wong’s crew could assess the situation, the clowns, juggling knives, threw the blades at all of the henchmen, killing them. Wong was obviously in shock and very angry. In order to persuade him to sign the documents, the fire breather spit flames onto Wong’s ankles. He submitted, signed the paperwork, and began to shout. He was silenced with several dozen Chinese stars.
After having amassed a small fortune in blood diamonds, Kevin & Mike launched kmo, your supplier of alternative bed linens.
No seriously, about kmo
